Dear John

In answer to your message....


Yes I miss you.  Yes I liked hanging out with you.  We are just so alike that it's scary.  Could you imagine spending any extended period of time together?  I think we would drive other people crazy.  They wouldn't be able to keep up with our frantic pace of mayhem.  I wasn't intending to do anything with you.  I had told myself no (although I was wearing matching underwear so perhaps my subconscious knew otherwise).  When I saw you I still thought no, for about 5 seconds.  Then I thought yes.  I thought yes I would like to take you home with me.  I would like to have you sitting on my couch.  We got there.  I got nervous.  You seemed relaxed.  And we kissed.  I still haven't worked out your style of kissing.  I need to let you lead more, but it's something I struggle with.  I liked you glancing down at your jeans, as if I wasn't aware myself of the growing bulge underneath the surface of the fabric.  I liked your change in breathing as things became more frantic.  We knew didn't we?  We knew time alone would lead to something.  And it did.  Your skill leaves me breathless, me like some wanton woman coming again and again in rapid succession.  And the ending.  The fucking.  It was the perfect way to end.  We ended with a new beginning.  With something new to both of us.  We opened a door we said we wouldn't, because it wasn't 'our thing'.  I'm glad that we didn't really follow our usual pattern.  You felt good inside me.  Amazingly so. 
 
This thing between you and I doesn't have an ending does it?  It's timeless.  It's something quite beautiful. An understanding between two people that goes beyond words.  It's an unconventional type of love.  But it is love.